In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
