I cannot find my penis.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
