where am i from again
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
not ubering you a puppy
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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