Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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