Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
