Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
