Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
honey bunches of taint.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
