You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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