Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
