So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
