Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
