she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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