Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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