So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
