How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
