the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
