just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
