they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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