All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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