I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
