Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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