I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I have aggressive nipples.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
