I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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