whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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