it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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