Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize