OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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