Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
