Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well I just put wine in my tea
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
