You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
