he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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