i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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