I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
