jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I touched a dick in church today
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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