So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize