Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
