I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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