You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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