so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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