It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
