After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
