i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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