Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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