I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
