This girl is more easily done than said...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
