it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
