He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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