When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
