Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
