she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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