How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize