I can text with my tongue
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
