To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
