evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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