If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
