The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize