How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well I just put wine in my tea
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
