but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
